I was listening to the radio yesterday and Dr. Laura took a call from this woman who wanted to get a tatoo but her husband said she could only after she lost the 30 lbs she had gained and so she wanted to know if his request was uncalled for and insensitive. Dr. Laura ripped into her pretty good but I had to agree with her in the end. How do you expect your s/o to find you attractive if you don’t take care of yourself, duh. =)
Dr. Laura is brutally honest, very opinionated, and usually right. But here’s my two cents, which you can pick up at the bottom after my rant.
He loves me at my best and he loves me at my worst (cue dreamy sigh). And if you actually think that they want to, you’re either the luckiest person in the world to be dating a saint or mildly delusional to think they aren’t halfway out the door because you wouldn’t even want you at your worst. In my particular case, I can say with absolute certainty that he doesn’t. And I don’t blame him.
When I look in the mirror do I see what I like? Often times I don’t, but it’s mainly due to the same unresolved issue. The dreaded muffin top (read it and weep with me). I won’t blame it on my genes (like I so want to) because as Dr. Laura affirmed, you didn’t see any fat people in concentration camps due to their genes. Don’t get overly sensitive here, it’s the truth.
Babes loves a girl with a nice waistline. Now is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so. I have been overindulgent: cookies – macadamia nut cookies are delicious (no!), late night eating, and fast food runs have resulted in the undesirable muffin top mess.
Although my health is the real underlining issue here, it doesn’t hurt to look and feel fit and keep your man happy all the while. So I will keep these things in mind:
1. Always indulge but never overindulge; meaning one cookie, not two; lose/gain five pounds, not twenty-five. etc
2. Respect your body and respect your relationship. He has the right to say you look like a fat cow and should lose some weight (hopefully he will be a little less cruel in wording it than I) and you have the right to say you are happy the way you are and if he doesn’t like it to go hump a carcass of some sort. =/ Well, you get the point.
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prettygeekyphot
uhh i hope u are NOT talking about urself!!!! LoL u do not need to lose the wait…okay tone up lol (i kid i kid) but lose weight!? shoot ty should be telling u to eat not lose…and if he is…i will come and clobber him over the head and EYES! lol =P
Hi Ying!
Umm…I was talking about myself? lol. Ty doesn’t want me to lose weight, he just wants me to lose the cottage cheese around my waist and so do I. I’ve always had body issues but am happy with my weight as of now, I just want to be more healthy and fit. But yeah, basically what Dr. Laura was saying was, if you don’t love and respect yourself, how do you expect someone else to….which I thought was a very accurate assessment. So, I need to work on it. =)
;prettyGeeky
*gasps* I am guilty of being a muffin top gal *cries*
I am so VERY PROUD of you for taking responsibility…and with good humor. I know you’ll get yourself fit and enjoy the process. warmly, drl
Hi Dr. Laura?!
Either someone has an identity crisis or OMG, Dr. Laura just posted in my little here blog! =D In any case, thank you so much for the encouraging words! =)
;prettyGeeky
So true. I certainly wouldn’t want him at his worst. Going to the gym is hard, but worth it. Although an LBD can somtimes work just as well as a week at the gym
Hi Erratic Traveller,
I’m hoping I can motivate myself to do my exercise videos and jog/run outdoors. Gym memberships are great but I don’t want to pay to go to one. =/
The LBD can work wonders, I will certainly attest to that. =D
;prettyGeeky
As a dude, I completely agree with what you have said. Keeping that in perspective, its a two way street. A spare tire isn’t all that attractive either. Being open and listening within the relationship is important, takes effort from both sides to make it work.
Hi Dreaminspired,
I haven’t heard from you in a while! =) You are absolutely right (and I was hoping you guys would get the message as well…hehe).
;prettyGeeky
Oh, boo hoo! I’m one that HAS gained 25 and not 5 pounds (and I wasn’t even skinny to start with, just ‘ok’)
Lucky for me hubby’s lovely and doesn’t say a (bad) word at all…Must get my act together though…
Hi Kay,
great blog.
I saw the banner at the bottom of the forum and decided to drop by (again) ! 
anyway, i’m also guilty of muffin top as of late. :-/ The Fiance claims to love me just the way i am, but i KNOW he would want me to lose some lbs. 
I just can’t get him to admit it. LOL! but i definately agree that if you can’t love yourself, how can he? although i do agree it was rude for the gal’s husband to make that comment to her but she shouldn’t be surprised. That’s the husband, ya know? I’d rather he then some stranger on the street. LOL! kudos!